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Stock up, then sell them off to pay your kid's way through college. This five-minute sizzle reel of horrifying misogynistic behavior was available for purchase on Amazon before Arnold ran for governor of California back in There are still some reviews dating back to that more shameful time, when a man who was caught on tape treating women like sexual puppets for his pleasure could win elected office.

Some say it's corn dogs, but I think learning from past mistakes is what truly makes the human race great. On July 4, , four months before Californians chose Schwarzenegger to be their new governor, an anonymous Amazon user left a five-star review titled "Arnold's Intelligence Truely [sic] Shines sarcasm " just days before another reviewer said, "If you are an Arnold fan and like the idea of Girls gone wild, get this one.

It just says "END" -- all caps, no punctuation. Five-star review. All four of its reviews give it five stars, and not one of them have anything good to say about it.

I had to know more, so I scrounged up what little information exists out there about Carnival In Rio.

Everyone involved in the production except Playboy and Schwarzenegger is a legitimate documentarian. It was the first thing one of the production companies behind it ever made, then they spent the next 20 years producing biographies of old Hollywood stars and historical documentaries for PBS.

I figured it was directed by a sleazy early '80s porn impresario who thought celebrity travel docs would be a great way to sneak full penetration into America's living rooms.

But it wasn't. The director's name is Shep Morgan. He produced a lot of boring stuff for PBS, including a bunch of stage plays during his work on the series American Playhouse.

The director of the video wherein Arnold Schwarzenegger mouth-fucks a teacher with produce was partially responsible for my upbringing.

Everyone in this production is trying to tell the fascinating story of the cultural significance of one of the biggest parties in the world, but Playboy and Schwarzenegger kidnapped these PBS dorks and made them film softcore porn and sexual assaults.

I could easily imagine these stuffy documentarians telling Arnold to nod thoughtfully while Brazilians spoke with passion about what Carnival means to them, but then falling apart the second he starts fondling their tits mid-answer.

We told you to ask your questions and nod! Ask and nod! That's it! Luis still thinks it's corn dogs. You can find him on Twitter , Tumblr , and Facebook.

Want a musclebound role model who won't let you down? There's always Stretch Armstrong! His arms and his morals will never give out!

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The real value here is in Schwarzenegger's 'Schwanz. No word yet on whether Frommer will accept the offer. The New York Post first reported that Frommer and his partner, movie producer Rick Schwartz, were potentially planning to launch an exhibit featuring Guccione's treasure trove of an estate , which also includes correspondence with the Unabomber and information about publishing nude photos of then-Miss America Vanessa Williams.

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Patrick has been in the news for dating the skankiest of the skanky: Miley Cyrus. Universe five times. Arnold is even looking good in his old age… especially after he retired from being the Governor of California.

Hollywood decides on a new lead male every few years… have you seen these Chris Pratt nudes? The best action star of all time, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was born in Austria on July 30, making his sign Leo.

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